God's Faithfulness in Times That Feel Hopeless: Elizabeth Harrell
God’s faithfulness. Something that every Christian knows to be true, but do we really trust in this fact? This question has burned in my heart for a very long time as I was growing up. I grew up in a Christian home, went to church every Sunday, participated in the youth group, and even sang in the choir on Sundays. I did everything that a believer should do and put on a happy face while I did it. I also went to school as normal with a smile plastered on my face and laughed with the friends I had. Smile and play the part of “everything is fine!”, I said to myself. You don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of these good people, keep going. Ignore what you’re feeling, just go with it. I told myself these phrases day in and day out, but little did I know I was struggling deeply with anxiety and depression. I have recently learned in my college studies in psychology that having to tell yourself to be happy isn’t the norm. Not enjoying the things, you used to anymore isn’t just “a phase”, rather it is a sign of depression. anxiety was something I have always felt as a child and was told it was just me being shy. When in reality any loud noise, big crowd, or a lot happening at once would nearly send me into a panic attack. Now, you may be asking yourself while reading this, “why? Why would this happen to someone who seemingly had it all together and was faithful?” I know I have asked myself these very same questions. Why God? Why am I feeling this invisible pain every single day? Please make me different, Lord!
I had a few friends in school and at church, but they all ended up moving away or simply abandoning me which left me feeling lonely and isolated. I was also bullied in school because of my struggle to talk to people which left me feeling like I had nothing to offer the world. The lies that the enemy kept telling me were becoming my reality. I started to believe that I was not good enough, or that I couldn’t accomplish anything because of my struggles. I fell into the trap of negative thinking and really taking those words to heart. This let to me not taking very good care of myself and ignoring how I actually felt. After several years of feeling like this, I made the decision to go on a youth trip to summer camp. This was a week of camp where I would travel to different states every year and do service projects for the local community. This is when I began to realize what serving the Lord looked like. This is what real Christian community and friends looked like. Through summer camp, God began to do a great work in me.
I felt the Lord working in me and changing my mindset. He helped me realize that my negative feelings and thoughts were not true. I saw that serving the Lord was honorable and good. Through this, he showed me the grace and love that he has for me. I am valuable in the eyes of the Heavenly Father. My worth is not in what others think of me, rather it is in Jesus who died and rose again for me. That is the beauty of the Gospel, that God always has good plans for his people and will be faithful to use them. God through his faithfulness delivered me from a dark depression and crippling anxiety. He can do the same for you if you allow him to.
MEet Elizabeth!
Hello! My name is Elizabeth Harrell and I am a student in the College at Southeastern studying Christian Counseling. I am 23 years old and live in seminary housing with my husband Austin. I hope that you are encouraged by what you read and that you too can see God’s faithfulness in your own life!